Eleanor is fairly helpless in this situation, her mother is potentially the only person in the household who has any real affect on Richie. So why does she stay?
Why does anyone stay in an abusive relationship?
Many people feel rightfully scared and think they can't get out, even if they tried. It's clear that Eleanor's mother thinks so both in her actions and in her comments to Eleanor.
"I have to think of myself. In a few years, you'll be out on your own, but Richie is my husband." Rowell, 187
Obviously her mother isn't in the best state of mind and feels like she's tied to him. This explains why she works so hard to make Richie happy. In her mind, her kids will all grow up and be able to leave him, but she will be stuck with him forever.
Through my own research on the subject, I have found that abuse in relationships happens far more often than one would think.
94% of women age 16-19 have experienced abuse.
94%. Almost all of us.
On a more personal note, while I haven't been abused, I've known many others who come from similar situations as Eleanor. A friend of mine was in a relationship for two years before his fiance became abusive. Another would have to hold his sister from running into the kitchen every night to save her mother from their stepfathers fists.
So why stay? Sometimes you love the other person, Still, through everything. Sometimes the abusive person hates themselves and begs you to stay because they need you. Everyone's story is different. Some who grow up in an environment like Eleanor's think it's normal. They follow the path of their parents and can end up in abusive relationships of their own.
Whatever the case, one thing is clear. Things in Eleanor's life are coming to a peak. Things are changing, and she's helpless.
While I agree with the premise your blog post is stating, I disagree that 96% of women have experienced abuse. When clicking that link, I found out that this is a biased website that skews their facts as they have a goal. It's fine that it promotes activism, but i highly doubt 96% of women have experienced abuse. This is probably caused from people stating things that aren't abuse such as "witholding sex" or calling her a name she doesn't like and classifying it as abuse. The actual percentage is about 29%.
ReplyDeleteI disagree. No one can claim that something was or wasn't abuse unless you are the victim. Yes, that 96% is not all the same kind of abuse, but it may very well be abuse all the same. I agree, yes the link may not be reliable but i disagree with your statement. Calling someone a name can be abuse. Especially if it is said over and over. Sexual harrassment may also be included which I can almost guarantee 96% of women have experienced.
DeleteMadison- I think Eleanor will go the other way and learn from her experience since she is so aware of everything. Good point about 16 to 19 year old women, too.
ReplyDeleteyou bring up some very valid points even though your link of choice could be a little better and have some more accurate info. Not to put aside your main point because i think it is a very well thought out and prevalent issue.
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