Feed: Thank God It's Over

YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!
I finished Feed! If it weren't for this class and I'd been reading it on my own I would've stopped long, long ago. However, it's over now. Time to move on. (hopefully to better books)
So unless you've been paying about as much attention as a dying squirrel to this blog, you know I've hated this book. I mean. It's not hard to tell....
My biggest complaint after reading it is still, I have to say, the slang. I just can't. Sorry. That knocks my score down by a good four points. If I can't read a book without cringing every ten seconds, I won't read it. Period. Am I being unreasonable?
The second, and most relevant to the end of the book, point I'd like to make, is about our main character. Ahhh Titus. Titus, Titus, Titus. Honey, you're an asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. he's a teenager, he can't handle grief, boy's will be bo-

 NO WAY, JOSE. I don't care who you are. I don't wanna hear it. Titus is horrible. If he was even half decent he would've broken up with Violet when he lost feelings for her. And hey, then maybe she could've died next to someone who deserved her! I can't talk about it anymore. I'm so irritated with the whole thing. All I know is, I doubt it could've been a worse ending. I thought Eleanor & Park was irritating, at least Park wasn't the biggest !@#%$!&*#, ( ^#%^!#, or @^&$*&$^* around. Ending message? We're all gonna die, but get our hearts broken as insult to injury anyways.

Feed: A Poor Man's John Green Novel

So yeah. I'm not enjoying this book. I am, sadly, getting used to the horrible slang, not enough to keep it from being annoying though. It pulls me out of the novel frequently, and unpleasantly.  Often I struggle to appreciate the setting or the details in the atmosphere because I'm o limited by Titus's view of the world, by his limited use of language. If I were to rate it I'd give it a 3. Maybe.
To be completely honest with you part of my annoyance is with how similar this book is to current affairs. I won't get into politics too much but let's just say I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that this book's dark setting is maybe not as far away as we'd like. That's not to say it's a bad thing, book quality wise, but geez I could use something uplifiting right about now, rather than more dark, depressing, end of the world talk.

Another point I'd like to make concerns the lesions frequently mentioned in Feed. Two words: grrrrrrrrr ooooooooosssssssss. ugh. No. The detail in which they describe Quendy and her new fake lesions made me want to throw up. Sadly though, similar to the political likeness of the novel to our time, I don't think the similarities to teens and peer pressure are far off either. Yes, lesions sound extreme now, but we've all been there. We've all wanted to be cool. My concern is whether Quendy will be able to ever be normal again once the fad ends.
In this segment of the novel things have definitely gotten worse. I mean, we all kind of knew it would, right? Frankly I'm hoping it all ends just so i can stop reading this book. Call me a critic but I'm just done. I've had enough of the political doom in real life, thanks.

Feed: Can Bad First Impressions Be Wrong?

So. Let's take a moment to talk .about Feed, by M.T Anderson. It's meg big big unit.... oh. wait. Are you a normal person who doesn't speak whatever language that was? yeah me too.
I'm not very happy with this book. It took me three days to get through 150 pages when it should've taken me a few hours. I just couldn't make myself read it half the time. Honestly, I get what the author is going for. I really do. I get that the future talk is supposed to sell that the novel is set in the future, but my god it is so hard to read.
Don't get me wrong, I understood the slang by page 150, I could figure out what they were saying. It was just annoying. Like spending time with 14 year-olds who think they're cool. I just wanted to scream at them. THAT WAS NOT A SENTENCE!
Language aside, I can't relate...Not to any of it. Parties? Nope. Drug use? Definitely not.The weird internet like thing that runs through them all? Uhhh. I guess? Disturbingly, I don't think this book is leaping too far from the actual future. Filet mignon farms? I'll give it to the author. That bit made me chuckle.  Back to The Future 2 or what?
I will say, I appreciate the message behind it. The whole "feed companies" run the world thing seems a little close to home to me. It's going to go in a "defy the man" kinda direction and I'm alright with that. I can be cool with rebellion.  
I don't know, guys. I'm hoping this book makes a comeback. I really do. I don't know how it can change though, enough to make me enjoy it anyways. Nonetheless, It's quite a trip. Give it a shot.
Buy it here  Or you know. Go to a library. They're still cool right?


More on this book later,
                                              M

Eleanor & Park: Addicted

I am writing this now, only seconds after reading the last page. I'm not entirely sure how to put what I feel into words. I dropped the book and stomped my feet on my dorm room floor like a toddler. I held in a scream and pulled my own hair like a mentally unstable woman who's run out of medicine.
How dare she? How dare anyone leave a book like that? I'm struggling not to swear and it occurs to me now that I may be a little to angry to write coherently at the moment.




I have read so many books. I have finished nearly a thousand last pages and even more beginnings. Yet, I don't know that I have ever felt such a strong reaction to the end of a novel before. No cliffhanger has ever hurt quite this much... So I asked myself; why? Why does this hurt even more than the death of one of my favorite literary characters? SPOILER ALERT.  Why did I have this strong of a reaction to a  YA book, of all books?





It would be wrong of me not to say I relate to Eleanor. I do. SO. MUCH. Honestly, I think that's why the author doesn't give too much information about her size. Because i don't have a number to compare or say "Oh she shouldn't complain!" Or worse, pity her for being larger than me. Every self'-conscious moment, every time she makes a comment about being big, I understand. Even past her size, everything she describes with Park I have felt before. Wanting a boy to touch you but waiting for him to cringe at you for looking the way you do. Everything a teenage girl feels for the first time.

Brace yourself. It's going to get a little personal.

I'm luckier than Eleanor. I've never had to worry about distance or family or anything interfering with my first love, because I was 18 when I first felt the way she did. Everything she says and feels is raw because it's new to me too, even though I'm barely a teenager anymore. It's personal, and I want more than anything for them to make it. I'm mentally screaming in anguish every time she doesn't say "I love you". I'm begging her to write back, to call, ANYTHING. I needed some kind of closure to this first love, even if it's tragedy. Even if she gets hit by a bus, even if the world ends in an apocalypse, even if Park falls out of love with her. In some messed up way I bought in to this story. I was sold that this was real. This is how first loves end. I finished this book dying to know the answer because my own story hasn't ended yet. In this crazy, hectic messed up world, I don't know what will happen. To me, to him, to us. I needed this to be some kind of ending. I'm desperately hoping that her words were the words I take for granted everyday. Dear God, please let her have finally said "I love you".

Eleanor & Park: Second Looks

As I continued to read Eleanor & Park (114-219), the most prevalent  issue, to me anyways, is the abuse that Eleanor and her family face in day to day life.
Eleanor is fairly helpless in this situation, her mother is potentially the only person in the household who has any real affect on Richie. So why does she stay?
 Why does anyone stay in an abusive relationship?
Many people feel rightfully scared and think they can't get out, even if they tried. It's clear that Eleanor's mother thinks so both in her actions and in her comments to Eleanor.
"I have to think of myself. In a few years, you'll be out on your own, but Richie is my husband." Rowell, 187
 Obviously her mother isn't in the best state of mind and feels like she's tied to him. This explains why she works so hard to make Richie happy. In her mind, her kids will all grow up and be able to leave him, but she will be stuck with him forever.
Through my own research on the subject, I have found that abuse in relationships happens far more often than one would think.
94% of women age 16-19 have experienced abuse. 
94%. Almost all of us.
On a more personal note, while I haven't been abused, I've known many others who come from similar situations as Eleanor.   A friend of mine was in a relationship for two years before his fiance became abusive. Another would have to hold his sister from running into the kitchen every night to save her mother from their stepfathers fists.
So why stay? Sometimes you love the other person, Still, through everything. Sometimes the abusive person hates themselves and begs you to stay because they need you. Everyone's story is different. Some who grow up in an environment like Eleanor's think it's normal. They follow the path of their parents and can end up in abusive relationships of their own.
Whatever the case, one thing is clear. Things in Eleanor's life are coming to a peak. Things are changing, and she's helpless.

Eleanor & Park: First Impressions

If you haven't read Eleanor & Park click Here for a description. I'll try to keep it relatively spoiler free.

I'll be honest. I wasn't sure about this. It'd been awhile since I read a young adult book... Or anything that wasn't from a $400 text book. So sitting down with a book like Eleanor & Park was both odd and comforting. It felt nostalgic and peaceful, and then I opened the book.
I didn't have an immediate reaction. The writing was good and kept me reading but it took me a minute or two to settle into the story. She gets on the bus, he sees her, and it's perfect. It's not love at first sight. He doesn't immediately notice how beautiful she is, because she isn't to him yet. And she just thinks he's a weird kid on the bus.
. 
As I read and things begin to change between them, I remember. I remember exactly what it feels like to live for the moments you get to see him. I can feel the first time they touch. I spent much of the 114 pages reveling at how real this feels. At how amazing it was that I got to live this again, through them.
The writing was so beautiful at times. I highlighted throughout my copy, struggling not to fill the whole book with a yellow tint.
At first, the descriptive language caught my eye.
"All her bones seemed more purposeful than other people's. Like they weren't just there to hold her up; they were there to make a point." Rowell, 18.
See what I mean? Rowell takes different pathways with words. I love that. The language, the emotions that are written in make you feel like you're in love again, for the first time.

Part of what makes this book seems so real are the circumstances. It's definitely not a prince and princess love story. It's honest. Both characters have their problems, ESPECIALLY Eleanor. You relate to her. You understand.
 Perhaps one of my favorite things about her is that she isn't perfect. She's bigger than most girls. THANK GOD. How refreshing is it to read about a girl that's not absolutely stunning? She's just Eleanor. Which is maybe the best part of this book. PI feel connected to her. I was fortunate enough not to grow up under her circumstances, but it doesn't stop me from relating to her.

And Park?  Well Park seems a little weird. That's okay though. Aren't we all? He's a nerd, and we're all nerdy about certain things.
The truth is, the book really isn't about any of them. The book was written for us: the readers. It let's you live (or relive) your first love. It's about the feeling, not the characters. We are meant to relate to them, to live through them. That's why the book works... Or the first 114 pages anyways.


More later,
M